Do you ever feel like you have to do it all on your own?
Like there just isn't enough energy and inspiration within you to get it all done or to make some good magic with your life?
I know exactly what you mean.
After recently experiencing the joy of receiving an amazing book offer, and going forward with that relationship, I have been faced with not only the enchantment and wonderfulness of all of that, but also the strong feeling of oh shit, now what? While the answer may seem obvious, (now what=edit, share more, put yourself out there), the "now whats" that we often feel do not arise out of a stupor of not knowing "what to do," but rather from the energetic plateau we meet again and again throughout or lives where doing feels contrived or inspiration feels blocked.
Now what? can be daunting when the energy is not there for a participation in whatever is happening, particularly when you think it should be. How many times in your life have you attempted to muster up the energy for this or that because you thought you "should" or because you believed you "needed to," only to feel more exhausted and out-of-touch as a result? We all know what that is like.
When we have expectations about how we should feel or what should be happening, and we get on that bandwagon of actually believing those expectations, then we are in for quite the ride. Why? A few reasons. First off, although we know what is best for us in the innermost sense, we do not know how that is meant to manifest. In other words, it may be your dharma and your truth to focus your energy on this or that project, but you may need to rest this week and focus on your inner world in order to really be able to show up in all of your power and glory. There might be the most amazing, perfect event happening on Thursday night, but if your spirit is saying stay home or I need to be in solitude, then to go to that event on Thursday night is to pull yourself out of alignment and, believe it or not, actually delay you in living out the most aligned unfolding. Whoever you thought you'd meet at that event, well, you probably would not meet the most ideal match for you; rather, you'd actually meet that harmonic match naturally, like walking to get a cup of coffee the next morning after a good night to yourself.
If you just stayed in on Thursday night, perhaps meditated or took a warm bath and just let yourself be, who knows? Perhaps, in that deep relaxation, the perfect next step would arise. The divine inspiration would swirl through your being upon you finally having space to let go. When we let go and let God, the possibilities are truly endless!
We are never goin' it alone. When we start to feel that way, it is a signal that we need to rest and remember. We are putting too much pressure on ourselves to do or to be something we are not or to fill out imagined shoes of who we think we need to become. It's all a trip and it's just a trip to take you home. Within yourself. At peace, and giving space for God to rush through your being and light up your cells. Divine inspiration always comes in divine timing. That's just the way it is.
As for me, I am drinking my own medicine. The past week included a few challenges and plenty of tears, and I did my best to let each tear clean the lens of the flashlight so that I may peer inside and see more clearly. So that I may help liberate whatever needs liberating. By resting into each moment and staying clear-eyed for what I am being shown, I know the way is cleared for inspiration to have the space to rise, and that is the best I can do. And that is enough. In the end, it's all one big opportunity to see more, clear more, love more and be more...which really just means: see, clear, love, be... there is no more when we are with these aspects of being.
Furthermore, I realize that I am, actually inspired right now: I'm inspired to be. I am the inspiration of restfulness. Inspiration is not meant to equate to doing.
So remember, there is no "should." We feel how we feel, and that is that. How we feel is never right and never wrong. How we feel benefits not from our judgement, but from our listening. When we slow down and move deeper within, past the details of what it all seems to be about, and listen to what our being is actually saying... we fall into alignment, we fall into grace, and we remember our divine place.
Let yourself be... let go of the pressure. Everything happens in its time and we have no idea what that actually is. Keep listening to yourself carefully and with love, and all is then as aligned as it can be.